The term and its definition as "a path of ennoblement through the idolization of an unavailable lover" was soon widely accepted and adopted. Chivalric or Courtly Love had its origins in the late 11th century amongst the nobility of the four most artistically inclined regions of France: Aquitaine, Provence, Champagne and Burgundy.Its arose as a direct outgrowth of the lyric poems of the troubadours, such as those of William IX, Duke of Aquitaine (1071-1126), one of the first troubadour poets.Southern France was a wealthy, refined, cultural melting-pot, and the new poetic form reflected this.
Although the Church would not formally recognize marriage as a sacrament until the Fourth Lateran Council of 1215, it had long since established that celibacy was the preferred, "pure" state of all people. Consequently, relations between the sexes should be fraternal, restrained and carefully controlled.
The troubadour's philosophy turned these ideas on their ear.
Women were seen as an ennobling spiritual and moral force, a divine muse rather than a "daughter of Eve".
In medieval times, the knights could have only one girlfriend, but they could also have a crush on other people, just as long as they didn't act on their feelings. Having crushes on another person would cause us to believe that our bf/gf is cheating.
Best known in the stories of Sir Lancelot's forbidden love for Queen Guinevere,l'amour courtois refers to a highly idealized, romanticized and usually adulterous relationship, both one part erotic fantasy and one part quest for spiritual perfection.