While it’s impossible to gauge in advance whether any couple will actually make it ‘til death do they part, there are some compatibility factors that offer insight as to whether they’ve got a fighting chance. Often the opposites attract rule comes into play between these two archetypes.While you probably can’t straight out ask your partner whether or not he or she is physically or verbally abusive, a cheater, or an addict—all of which rank among the most popular reasons for splitsville—you can and should sit down and ask each other the following questions. There is no reason to get married or seriously invest in one another if you don’t see eye-to-eye on this matter — unless you’re willing to be swayed. Surely you’ll come up with a more personalized, delicate way to broach this subject, but whatever the case, you must learn the financial standing of the person you’re getting serious with. Because as a married couple, their debt will quickly become your debt. But if you’re idea of a wise investment is tucking away your extra cash for retirement while your mate’s features trips to Vegas and sports cars, you’re destined to clash. While you probably know basics, you might like to know how much your partner is expecting the church, synagogue, mosque, or other to play a part in your lives, as well as your children’s lives should you have them. Would you be willing to go to therapy or counseling if we needed it?If your perspectives match up, you have a better chance of making it for the long haul. But don’t even think about entering marriage with the hope that you can change your partner’s mind. If you find you both want kids, you might follow up with a question about how much participation your partner would want to have in diaper changing and beyond! Plus, you can get a lot of insight into a person’s level of responsibility and overall financial outlook if you know what they’ve saved, lost, or borrowed and still owe up until this point. This is not something to take lightly since finances are one of the top causes for divorce. One of the top reasons for breakups is a breakdown in communication or a general lack thereof.
If you get a flat-out “No,” you know what you’re getting yourself into. It’s better to talk now about sexual preferences, desires, hopes and expectations than after you put a ring on it! Some want their partner to put dinner on the table every night, while others are happy with a life of takeout. While jobs and life can take couples places they never imagined going, it’s a good idea to see if you at least have the same type of lifestyle in mind.
From socializing to vacations to sex to household and financial roles and responsibilities, getting a clearer picture of expectations tells you whether or not you and your partner’s desires match up. For example, some people want to live near their family. Where you live has a direct impact on your lifestyle and consequently can make for a happier or more stressed existence.
The million-dollar question in the early stages of any relationship is always the same: how can I know he’s not playing me?
While love never comes with a money-back guarantee, he’s probably the real deal when: Nothing is more toxic to new relationships than the nagging feeling there is more to your partner than meets the eye.
Someone who is serious about you is never evasive or vague.