dating a nigerian man - Overcoming obsessions with dating

Once I was utterly convinced that I should be the female Lloyd; not quite holding a boombox outside his window, blasting “In Your Eyes” by Peter Gabriel, but still, willing to go that extra mile, even to travel thousands of miles to show up at his door. The following list of diagnostic signs and remedies should help. After years of experience, I understand the dichotomy between the self-assured quirkyalone, and the swooning, porous romantic inside, and I am prepared to help you. If you have engaged in two or more behaviors, proceed to the “Remedies” section. Join us and have your first tangasm in Buenos Aires. You have landed on the online home of the quirkyalone movement!The big problem with Lloyd is that he can only get away with his stalker moves because he is male. as if the Beloved becomes the perfect commodity, always desired, always paid for, but never really enjoyed.” Since we do not seem to be on the verge of socialist revolution, we may have to deal with the byproduct of R. The following list contains clues that you too may be in the throes of an R. Excessive Googling (In the Internet age, the number one symptom of R. It’s one thing to Google the object of your affection once or twice after you have first met, but if you find yourself re-Googling every day to see if there is a new link, or Googling his or her friends and family, consider that you may have a problem.) Compulsive phone behaviors (checking phone messages, making excuses to stay at home to wait for a phone call, and when you call your own phone to make sure it’s working. You will probably realize that they are far more annoying/arrogant/slimy/skinny than the fantasy image you constructed. A quirkyalone is a person who enjoys being single (or spending time alone) and so prefers to wait for the right person to come along rather than dating indiscriminately.

This inherent unfairness is perhaps one more reason that female quirkyalones persist in their R. behavior long after such grand gestures are going to get them anywhere—in the warped mind of someone in deep in R. It can be bewildering for us, too, seeing as this tempest of emotion stands in such contrast to our staunchly held image of confidence and self-reliance. O., which thankfully, was my last (we do tend to decrease the frequency of these outbursts with age, thank the Lord). Obsessive discussions with friends that test everyone’s sanity. Months later you’ll be able to go back and see the light. We do this work out of passion and we can do more with your support.

O., the willingness to contemplate such gestures almost becomes a blow in the battle for women’s rights: equal-opportunity stalking! It always starts with a disclaimer, “Really, I’m not going to talk about this again, but do you think that when he said ‘I’ll call you later,’ he meant ‘I’ll call you later tomorrow,’ or ‘I’ll call you later in life? (In your head, so much has already gone between you.) Trying to worm your way into the beloved’s social circle. Either way, the best remedy is to continue writing in your diary. Your support helps to pay for newsletter and web hosting costs, time writing and editing newsletters, supporting local meet ups, time promoting this concept to others through the media, and much more.

’ Or maybe he meant I should just call him.” Quirkyalones are creative types. Coming up with bizarre excuses to go to the beloved’s neighborhood. Cultivating friendships that you would honestly not want unless you were trying to get close to them. Even if you don’t go on any dates, you’ll feel better knowing that there are other fish in the sea. It’s much easier to deal with rejection when you can hate the offending party. You may be able to recognize a pattern; with the knowledge that past beloveds were not all you cracked them up to be, you may be better able to cut the current R. We appreciate your donation to keep quirkyalone growing.

By Sasha Cagen, from Quirkyalone A Manifesto for Uncompromising Romantics “Without obsession, life is nothing.”—John Waters It’s a little-known fact, but quirkyalones, for all their independence, also have a tendency to be swept away when they get close to love. is a distinct emotional experience: the dark side of the quirkyalone’s passionate character, and our dirty little secret. A great gulf opens up between the contentedly single quirkyalone, and the fixated one, who keeps replaying the same cinematic image from the beginning of the relationship over and over again.

We are passionate, romantic characters, and that click happens so rarely that the search for a partner can take on the character of a holy grail. Of course that picture becomes more complex, if, over time, a real relationship develops.

Last modified 28-Sep-2014 20:22