So when I talk about neediness or acting needy, I’m not recommending that you change how you behave or even try to avoid these actions. A much more empowering mindset is to simply not settle for what you don’t want and seek out what you do want… Also, I want to be clear that good, clear communication of what you want and what you don’t want is part of any good and healthy relationship.
Rather, I’m recommending that you change how you think about things and, therefore, the needy behaviors and ways of acting naturally disappear. It’s believing that you “need” the other person to act a certain way, be a certain way, do specific things or say specific things… There’s nothing wrong with having preference for what you want and only settling for what you want. The problem with the needy mindset is that when you’re not getting what you want, you have a strong negative reaction because you think of his specific behavior as something you “need” in order to be OK… So bear in mind that this response to you is from the context that you’ve repeatedly brought this up as an issue and there’s been no change in his behavior.
If you’re always available to the guy, it’s only natural that he’ll expect you to be available whenever he feels like contacting you.
If your availability is limited (and therefore requires planning and coordination to reach you), then he will make an effort to set time aside for you and make solid plans with you (instead of contacting you only when it’s convenient for him). it’s a human thing – we only put effort into interactions that require it.
And the interesting part is that the more we put effort into a relationship with someone, the more invested WE become.
Ok, I am confused…I thought guys were totally into the text versus actually talking on the phone.
But there is one guy who I am interested in who seems to not fit that mold. He takes hours to answer a text message when we all KNOW that our phones are glued to our face.